Thursday, March 13, 2014

Why Menopause is SO much better than Perimenopause

So apparently the only difference between menopause and perimenopause is a period.  When you enter "perimenopause", or pre-menopause, you get all the bells and whistles.....and by bells and whistles I mean irritating and random symptoms....but get to continue menstruating.  *YAY*  Why does Mother Nature hate me?  Is it because I finally discovered that I had an unborn evil twin and had that creepy motherfucker surgically removed?  Yes, as seen on TV, I had a teratoma, complete with "abundant hair, brain matter and a small, misshapen tooth" according to the surgical pathology report.  Did I curse myself further by consenting to also have an endometrial ablation to try and curb my horribly excessive bleeding during my periods?  Well, it wasn't until I was complaining about my seemingly unrelated yet bothersome symptoms of late that my good friend happened to mention that everything I was experiencing *could* be perimenopause.  Great.

I am 38 years old and although I have no intention of ever having any more children, ever, it never occurred to me that I was nearing "that phase" of my life that it was no longer possible.  So when my gynecologist said that I was a good candidate for an endometrial ablation as a way to try and reduce or stop my periods, I was all for it.  I have a friend who had one and she said it was one of the best things she'd ever done.  I did a fair amount of internet research once I had decided to have it done.  It was only in the interim, having gone for a pelvic ultrasound to make sure there weren't any fibroids that could hinder the ablation, that they discovered my little friend, lurking around my right ovary.  So, the plan changed to robotic assisted laparoscopic cyst removal with a side order of endometrial ablation.  My doctor said that although they would try and salvage the ovary, she couldn't guarantee it, they would have to take as much as necessary to remove the cyst.  Long, irritating story short, my "little cyst-er" had really gotten attached, so to speak, not only to my right ovary but also my right fallopian tube so they both had to come out, too.

Fast-forward three months and I felt like I was finally starting to feel back to normal (well, as normal as I can be).  The bloating seemed to be subsiding, after one very heavy period post-surgery, my periods were now more regular than ever, were substantially shorter at only four days (instead of seven or eight) and the bleeding was much lighter.  Then I started getting weird, intermittent symptoms like headaches, flushed face, night sweats, chills, more bloating and random gut issues, joint pain and it seemed like I could never get enough sleep.  After another month of this shit, I was complaining to my friend and that's when she said it kinda sounded like pre-menopause.  So I Googled it.

Sure enough, even things that I didn't even attribute to being a "symptom", like the heart flutters that seemed to return now years after I had a cardiac ablation to treat Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome.  Or how I am now at a point where if I think that maybe I might have to pee, I better go do it before my bladder decides that it doesn't care that I just wanted to get the mail first.  And, now that you mention it, I have been rather moody lately.  Dammit, it seems that a possible side effect of having an endometrial ablation that I apparently overlooked and wasn't presented to me by my doctor - before having the procedure - is that it may throw you into early menopause.  I can't say that if I had known that beforehand, I wouldn't have had it done.  The lighter, shorter periods are very nice.  However, I now have more intense PMS symptoms, too...which can ALSO be part of pre-menopause.  Well, if that's what all this is, then I wish it would hurry up and become menopause already, at least then I could say goodbye to periods altogether!

And this is why I told my son the other day, don't ever become a woman, it sucks.

1 comment:

  1. Ahh yes pre-menopause/menopause. The joys of being a woman!

    ReplyDelete

Be nice, now.