Sunday, November 9, 2014

Millennialisms That Make My Ears Bleed (A.K.A., I'm Old)

Although my current number of regular readers is small, you guys are a very diverse group.  Each generation creates their own language of sorts.  I am a proud Gen-X’er, which is, like, totally rad, dude.  I am the parent of a Millennial.  I just don’t understand these kids today.  Here is a list of my top language pet peeves of the “next generation”.


1.       Sick: Crazy, cool, insane; “Yo, that tricked out Civic is sick!”

a.      Gen-X translation: Awesome, Rad, Sweet

In my book, sick will always mean “not feeling well” or “disgusting”.  I just can’t get on board with calling something sick when you think it is impressive.  I guess I don’t even understand the origin therefore it will never make sense to me.

2.    Butt-hurt: An inappropriately strong negative emotional response from a perceived personal insult. Characterized by strong feelings of shame. Frequently associated with a cessation of communication and overt hostility towards the "aggressor."  (See also: You mad, bro?); “Skylar totes rage quit COD today, he’s so ButtHurt”

a.      Gen-X translation: Pissed (loose translation, no direct equivalent)

This is just yucky.  It evokes an unpleasant visualization that no one wants floating around in their head.  What’s wrong with just saying that someone is upset or has had their feelings hurt?  Gross…just gross.

3.     Bae: Girlfriend, boyfriend, crush, or any other sort of significant other (See also: Boo); “Bae be lookin’ hot in those yoga pants.”

a.      Gen-X translation: girlfriend/boyfriend

I have read that this one may have its origins as an acronym for “Before Anyone Else” but I have my doubts.  Much like “ho” of my generation, I have my suspicions that this term is derived from mumbling and/or poor annunciation.  It just sounds ignorant, please stop.

4.    Turnt up: A state of altered consciousness induced by alcohol or narcotics; “Kayla’s parents are out of town and she’s having a huge party, imam get turnt up tonight.”

a.      Gen-X translation: Lit, Baked, Drunk, Loaded

I suppose that someone, somewhere, thought it sounded “cool”, which is likely how all euphemisms get started, but I just think it sounds ridiculous.  You turn up music, you turn up the lights, you turn up when you’ve been missing.

5.    Ratchet: A person, typically of the female persuasion, who is viewed as trashy, loose or fake; “Day-um, Alicia’s weave is so fake, that bitch is ratchet.”

a.      Gen-X translation: Ho (I really hate that one, too), Trashy

First of all, why do we need another term to degrade our fellow girls, c’mon, ladies…really?  Second, it seems to be another bastardization of proper English in the mispronunciation of wretched.  I do understand that this term also has roots in the drag community and I can’t even pretend to understand the where’s, how’s, and why’s of a community I have only experienced through RuPaul’s Drag Race.  Carry on, ladies.

So, there it is.  I have come to terms with the fact that this list may very well be my clue that I am getting old.  I don’t care.  There will always be new and ridiculous sounding slang and phrases that will pop up.  I can’t wait to hear the boy, twenty years from now, complaining about the slang of the next generation…I’ll write a blog post about it.
P.S.,  Thank you to Urban Dictionary for helping me ensure the integrity of the definitions of these awful, awful words.
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