Sunday, July 12, 2015

I'm a Wingman


Ok, so I'm a wingwoman. I didn't know this until a couple of weeks ago. The boy and I were out and about, gettin' it done. Our list was brief but pointed.

  • Sally Beauty - hair color
  • Pet Supplies Plus - dog food, canned cat food (of course, the obligatory dog treats)
  • Olive Garden - well, what else do you go to OG for??
  • Pick N' Save - food
  • Sports Authority - man panties (which is what I call the boy's compression shorts)
We were at the pet store, heading toward the checkout (where we always fall for the colorful display of over-priced, unnecessary dog cookies) when I heard the boy mumble under his breath, "Wow, she's beautiful." I can't say if he actually intended for anyone to hear, or if he even knew he said it out loud. I glanced around and knew he must've been talking about the checker whose line we were about to enter.

As we waited, we were our usual entertaining selves. We chatted about one thing or the other and when he couldn't remember something I was talking about, I loudly proclaimed, "I really wish you would stop using drugs." He immediately turned a very satisfying shade of fuchsia. Then we laughed, assuring the on-lookers that it was all in fun. When it was our turn at the register, our banter continued, as it usually does. It caught the attention of the cashier, who immediately sided with me in whatever "tiff" the boy and I were engaging in. She used some of his favorite verbiage, when he challenged her as to why he was being ganged up on, as she replied that she always sides with the girl when a guy's "coming at her reckless". The boy and I stole a brief glance at one another and he couldn't stifle the smirk.

As we concluded our business, we got in the Civic and the boy looked deflated. He mentioned how he should go back in there and get her number...but, alas, he felt too shy. I suggested that he pen her a quick hello along with his number on a piece of paper. He thought that sounded safer but still felt he wouldn't be able to get up enough nerve to do it and said, in jest, that I should take the note and give it to her on his behalf. I immediately agreed.

As a side bar here, I must mention that I felt doing this was only paying it forward. You see, my mom did this exact thing for me when I was in high school. I had such a crush on the service counter guy at the grocery store we frequented and she obliged my wish and delivered to him a note I had written. We had one date. He picked me up in his black Toyota MR2 and we went to go see Navy Seals.

Anyway....he scrawled his note (thank goodness I always carry a pen in my purse), handed it to me (I did not read it), and I headed back into the store. As soon as she finished with the customer she was serving, I stepped up to the back of the checkout area, apologized, and asked if I could ask her a quick question. She turned around, all smiles, and said absolutely. I handed her the boy's note and said, "This is from my son, he was too embarrassed to bring it in himself." She opened it, started reading, cracked a huge smile, blushed a bit, and replied, "Oh my god, that is soooo cute! I will text him later!" I smiled and exited the store, got back in the Civic and recounted the brief tale.

We finished our errands and as we dined on pseudo-Italian "cuisine" at The Olive Garden, the boy received a text from her, just as she said she would. He was elated...and they've been seeing each other here and there ever since. Will it become a "thing"? Who knows. But it does appear as though this will now just be something he comes to expect from me....mom, the wingwoman.

The best part of the story is, once they started getting to know one another, she confessed that she was particularly surprised by his note because she thought that he and I were.....wait for it.....A COUPLE! Oh my gawd.....I know that we have occasionally been mistaken for friends or brother and sister.....but dating??? I'm sure he was much more horrified than I was to hear that.

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